


Misplacement.

by aphroditeswish



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Domestic, F/F, Fluff, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Other, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:47:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29570538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphroditeswish/pseuds/aphroditeswish
Summary: Natalya Arlovskaya working through mental health issues, struggling in a relationship with Chiara Vargas and trying to become stable. Unhealthy relationship, still a work in progress. Mostly ramble/vents through character. Will work on it as I go.
Relationships: Belarus/South Italy (Hetalia), Female England/Female France (Hetalia), belarus x female romano, belarus x female south italy, belarus x nyo romano
Kudos: 2





	Misplacement.

It burnt her lip before she had the chance to take a sip, but it didn't phase her at all to begin with. Natalya would never intentionally make a coffee hot to burn herself, but part of making a hot drink was there was going to be a risk of heat. That was okay. There was a risk and it happened, and that was okay. The room was silent; it felt tense. It was almost as if you let your breath be too loud, the walls would crumble and cave and swallow you up as punishment - so no sound was heard. The Belarusian looked down at the dark liquid in her mug, her eyes sharp and tired as if she was so angry at it that it made her exhausted, but it burnt her and that was okay but it didn't mean she liked it. Steam continued to rise from the cup and Natalya watched it lift before in an instant something jolted throughout her entire body and she couldn't, she couldn't, she couldn't. Almost as if she lacked any form of control, she threw out her arm and let the mug fall and spill all over the floor and once that smash was heard she was safe. A body curled up on the corner of the couch, knees being tucked safely into arms, and a heart beat ran rapid. Why was she scared? What was there to be scared of? Her body had an intense pressure as if someone wrapped their arms around her and squeezed it tight and yet her face stayed in that still, empty sort of stare. Natalya felt like her head could be screaming at her, her body on fire, eyes blacked over and still she would look completely normal. Perhaps that's just why no one ever realised any issues with her, because at her vulnerable points she was locked away with herself to feel safe with broken pieces to the floor.

She hadn't a clue how long had passed before she was aware of herself again, but from a room that felt like it had so little noise suddenly became the loudest thing ever. Every breathe Natalya took felt like a scream, the move of her neck and subsequent sound of hair brushing against the couch almost pierced her ears, mixed with the other countless nothings that overloaded the young woman like crazy. It was quite possibly magic that had suddenly launched her hearing to the highest of it's capability, especially when she could hear to the tee her heart racing in her ears. She let go of her knees and moved onto them so she could peer over the couch, leaving her eyes to linger upon the now lonesome mug with coffee spilt out of it like some sort of deathly betrayal. For some reason, it was less scary now it couldn't hurt her . . . but it also didn't feel as enjoyable to consume. She used her left had to hold out flat with palm up and her right hand placed broken pieces of the mug onto it in a pile until there was no more risk of it being on the floor and Natalya forced herself towards the kitchen to drop it all into the nearest trashcan. Everything was still audible to the absolute max and it was killing her to still be aware. "Where..." She begun to say to herself before the sound of a door opening made her shoulders shake and her head snap towards the person by it. Not right now, not yet, not --. She wish she had control of time. 

Whereas Natalya had time to adjust to the smell of the drink, Chiara had not. Natalya hadn't even realised you could tell there was a coffee scent and didn't think she had to clean it too fast to prevent from the house from looking a mess, but Chiara could tell instantly it was somewhere. The Italian wasn't mad at all that there was coffee somewhere! She knew Natalya was fully allowed whatever drink her heart desired, but it had become a pressing issue within their relationship that as the Belarusian declined she couldn't be alone or else it could be dangerous for her. Natalya didn't just break mugs but plates and vases and countless other things that she would just get angry with or something clicked inside her head and she just ruined them. She eyed Chiara walking into the living room for only a moment before grabbing for the paper towels, once looking back when her girlfriend was staring down at the coffee-stained cream-coloured carpet.

"You are home early," Was all Natalya could start with. "I was going to clean it eventually. It was just a spill." And yet she could lie through her teeth until the end of the world, but Chiara wasn't one for bullshit. The room was dark and there was no tv on, the blankets and things around the room were still in place as if they hadn't been touched and there were little pieces of ceramic left over that would only be cleaned with a vacuum that made Chiara know otherwise. It wasn't the issue that Natalya was struggling, it was the issue she was lying and keeping things a secret. The women had locked eyes for a few seconds with Natalya not budging in her story before Chiara's face dropped and she let out a sigh. "Okay, Natalya," Was all she murmured out before walking past her girlfriend into the kitchen to get a drink for herself. As tense as it was, maybe a new night of silence was needed for the volatile couple. Speaking words was no different to walking on eggshells lately. Natalya watched her love for a few more seconds before she was back into the living room to clean up the mess she'd made just hours ago, and like that, a wall was between them again. Though walls were becoming comfortable; walls were what they're most used to. 


End file.
